Confession 68: Just Another Day...

I stepped in dog poop with my bare foot this morning. It was gross. Really gross. But the plus was that I figured it couldn't get much worse than that throughout the day. And, other skidding into work two minutes before the first tardy bell, it really hasn't been that bad. Stephen woke up around five something this morning. We were sleeping in the recliner, which was fine because I've had a cough for a week now that I can't get rid of. He played for awhile, crawling on and off the recliner, then when Chris came out to tell me my alarm was going off Stephen decided it was time to sleep. So, he grabbed his blanket, climbed up onto the recliner, laid down, and fell back to sleep. Classic Stephen.

I was thinking as I was pulling into the parking lot at school this morning, "This is my life. This--rushing Garrett out the door in the morning with a cup of coffee in one hand and a can of soup in the other, flying into school in the nick of time, scrambling to wrap my head around what I need to teach through three subjects, flying out of school with who knows what, rushing Garrett back into the car, and heading toward home where there's snack, dinner, bath, jammies, and bed. This is my life." And you know what? I love it. I love it!! This is what it's supposed to be about. There's no big thing to do, no greatness to be achieved (thank you Beth Moore). There's just me taking God's hand and walking through the day.

That's not to say that there's no purpose in life. There's tremendous purpose in life. There's a kingdom to be built, and all that we do should be focused on building it. But we build it everyday, in our everyday encounters, our everyday conversations, our everyday actions and routines. We build it when we say hello with a smile to people we greet in the morning. We build it when we give an encouraging hug or word to someone who might need it. We build it when we pray with our children before meals. We build it when we give someone else the right of way. We build it when we say "thank you" and mean it. We build it when we say, "I understand what you're going through". We build it when we laugh with others. We build it when we cry with others. We build it when we say, even in the midst of a foot covered in dog poop, "Thank you God, so much, for this day."

This is just another day, and I couldn't ask for more.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 67: Appreciation

At the beginning of this school year, all of the teachers in our district were given a copy of the book, How Full Is Your Bucket?. The purpose of this was to foster a community of positive encouragement and appreciation. We, as a faculty, are continuously called to build up our colleagues and our students by offering praise and recognition for work well done. I've realized recently that I have gotten behind in the area of bucket filling, in one area probably more than others. After the busy-ness of the day, I often fail to truly appreciate my husband. And there is a lot to appreciate.

Chris is a wonderful husband. He takes care of so much around the house and I hardly ever stop to even say, "thank you." Chris eats lunch at home most days to save money, let the dogs out, and clean up the kitchen. He also does most of the cooking, laundry and takes out the trash. On top of that, it is his responsibility to get Stephen (prior to this year both Garrett and Stephen) ready in the morning and out the door to the sitters, picking him back up on his way home from work. A full day's work, I might add. Then he gets me, his lovely wife, sauntering in the door after school, scattering all of her stuff throughout the house as she makes a path to the bedroom to change, asking "What do you want for dinner"? by way of a "Hi, it's nice to see you. How was your day?"

After making dinner, Chris will often clean up as well while I go play with the boys and get them dressed for bed. Chris then gets the job of putting at least one of the boys to sleep, since Stephen will not go to sleep for me and Garrett is 50-50. Then, once the boys are in bed, he waters the animals, takes the dogs out, makes sure they're fed, and goes to bed with only half of the covers because I take them all.

And that's just a normal day! There are times when Chris does even more than that. For instance, a few weeks ago I fell asleep on the couch while making cookies for a snack day at work. Instead of waking me up, Chris finished baking the cookies, took them out of the oven, put them into a container, and brought me my medicine with a glass of water. This past week, when I wasn't feeling well, Chris sent me to bed at 7:30, cleaned up dinner, took care of the animals , and put both the boys to bed on his own. He also got up in the middle of the night with Stephen and took him to sleep in the spare room so I could get some rest.

I have a truly wonderful husband. Why he continues to put up with me I have no idea. But I'm very grateful that he does. I know Chris isn't perfect, no one is. But he gives 110% of himself always. He deserves a little recognition now and then. So, thank you Chris. I love you!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 66: God Does Not Throw Pity Parties

I was driving to work this morning. It was raining, again. It was dark. It was Thursday. Stephen was up in the middle of the night playing, again. The end result of which he was tired and cranky this morning. Between the two boys and myself, I'm not sure there was one moment before I left the house this morning where someone was not throwing a fit. On top of it, I've developed an obnoxious head cold which has left me even more run down, cranky and achy. So, on my dreary, wet, cold drive to work this morning, I decided to have a nice little pity party. I was mad and frustrated with everything, feeling overwhelmed. I was about to yell out to God, "I'm too tired for this!" when I heard a song playing on my morning radio station (90.7 K-Love "pahwsitive" Christian Music"). It was a Mark Schultz song about a mother praying over a son who is seriously ill. The DJ came on afterward to say that the song was written for some friends of Schultz's whose son had been battling cancer but was now in remission.

Let me tell you, I felt that God was whacking me over the head with that one. "Hey, Pity-Party-Patty--snap out of it!! There will be no pity parties on my watch! Get it together, girl. We've got a full day ahead. And don't talk to me about being tired. You don't even know tired yet! Be thankful you got to play with your son, even if it was at 3 A.M. Your children are gifts. Enjoy them. And why are you getting stressed out anyway? Don't you know by now that I've got you covered? Forget tired. Forget frustrated. Forget rising blood pressure. Focus on me. I've walked the path ahead of you. Trust me, I know where we're going. "

After that, I managed to get out of my head for a little while and really focus on the world around me. I focused on Garrett, talking to me continuously about riding to school in Stephen's car seat. I focused on my lessons, and on the students I would be interacting with shortly. I focused on the music, praising God for the rainy, dreary day to live.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 64: To Shakespeare or Not To Shakespeare?

Before reading further, I need to warn you that I am about to commit English heresy. If you're a traditionalist when it comes to the English canon you should probably stop reading now. I've been thinking recently, as we approach our Shakespeare unit in English IV, that I don't want to read an entire Shakespearean play with my Seniors. (WHAT!?) You heard me right. I'm considering reading one or two scenes and then just watching a film. (So this is what's wrong with the American educational system these days!!) There is much sound reasoning behind this thought. Let me break it down.

1. The language barrier: American English is so far removed from Shakespearean English that it is truly like reading in another language for the students. I don't know if we're evolving or devolving, but the kids just do not get the language. Therefore, they can't move on to comprehension of the text.

2. The relevance issue: Any student of English literature knows that the plot lines and characters in Shakespearean plays can transcend any time or generation. But, the kids don't get that. They think, "Oh, another old, dead white guy. Who cares?" My students want to read about characters who are like them and situations they are going through now. They want new and contemporary. And they don't want people speaking in rhymes!

3. The skills issue: The point of teaching English is to help students analyze, evaluate, problem-solve, reason, and write effectively. Do they really have to read Shakespeare in order to do those things? There are plenty of contemporary pieces of writing they can read, comprehend, enjoy and use to build these skills. Knowing Shakespeare is not going to make a phenomenal difference in their lives.

I know what you're thinking, "It's Shakespeare! They have to know Shakespeare! He's everywhere!" While it's true that there are many Shakespearean references and allusions built into contemporary media and artistic endeavors, the question is whether or not our kids need to understand those references and allusions to appreciate the media or artwork. Is it necessary to the growth of their persons? And, as much as I personally love Shakespeare, I would say (begrudgingly) no.

Here's the other plus for me. If we only read an excerpt from a play, we can cover more than one. We can hit Much Ado About Nothing and Hamlet. They're getting more than they would from a unit in which they would read an entire play. And, I don't have to hear them whine and complain.

To Shakespeare, or not to Shakespeare? That is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Senior whining , or to take arms against the sea of rebellion, and by watching film, end them?

It is a question for the ages:-) Let me know what you think!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 63: Back To Work

Chris and I came back from an amazing trip yesterday to be greeted again by business, chaos, and discontent. Thank God I am going through Beth Moore's Esther study right now because she is speaking right to me!! I had a moment last night when I thought, again, "I'm done with this crap!! Where is God and why, WHY, isn't he doing more!?" Granted, I was sleep-deprived and beginning to feel a little overwhelmed as I tried to get my head around lessons for today, organize my parent-teacher conferences, and deal with a tired boy. I kept remembering what we've already gone over in Esther, that when God seems farthest away, he's working on something big. Something big is happening. God is creating a new spirit within our church congregation. We had a great service of confession and healing yesterday. My mom noticed how much friendlier and open people seemed. So, God is working. But even with that, there is still discontent. There are still people hanging on to hurt and anger, still harping and arguing, still fighting and hurting. And I'm just so tired of it.

I'm also tired of my Senior's attitudes at school. I love these kids. I've had some of them in class for three years. But they're getting so gripey and lazy and snippy. I totally lost it and yelled at them this morning when they were complaining about a performance assignment they had to do we'd been working on for a week and a half. I made it up to them, but only after telling them to grow up, that they were Seniors and they had the attitude of Freshmen. Seriously, a person can only take so much!!

But, I love them. And I love our church. And a friend of mine is making coffee so I'm going to go grab a cup before English III. Hopefully, my Juniors will not have to experience the "wrath of SSS"!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 63: U2 Rocks!!

Chris and I returned home yesterday from a whirlwind trip to Norman, OK for the U2 concert and boy, was it worth it! What an awesome concert! I can't even begin to describe the stage set-up, but it was as wide as a football stadium and about eighty feet tall. There's a reason the band is only playing open stadiums! Even with the big set, humongous video screen, and 50,000 people, the concert seemed very intimate. The band had the ability to reach out and connect with everyone in the audience. Bono spoke as if he were speaking to a handful of people in his living room. The music flowed continuously for two hours. It was amazing, phenomenal, and inspiring. Two things I realized while at the concert: 1) Bono truly has a nice singing voice--very smooth, 2) The Edge is a truly gifted guitarist. As my husband said, "he rocked it out"!

I've been to good concerts before, but I can't think of one that has topped this. It was just a great musical experience. The band came to play, and that's pretty much all they did. There wasn't a lot of showmanship, just four guys and their instruments having fun playing a gig--great, Great, GREAT.

The other great part of the trip was sharing it with our friends Bill and Jennifer. We had great conversation on our long car ride. We covered everything from kids to work, theology to food and the snippiness of "Helga" the Garmin's attitude--sometimes within the same thirty-second interval! It made me realize the importance of having quality time with other adults away from kids!! In a nutshell, we went on a road trip. And it was fun.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

"To Autumn"

Fall is by far my favorite season. I love the crispness in the air, the slight tingle in my cheeks as I walk outside, the deep smell of the earth as its goods are harvested, the woody scent of firesides. I love the vibrant colors--deep reds, bright yellows, russet oranges all accented by the golden light that filters through the trees. I love the sounds--the crunch of the leaves under my feet, the coaches whistle and plays called at football games, the drum beats and horn blasts of the marching band practicing in the early morning. Some associate Fall with dying, but I see it more as a beginning. A new school year, the advent of the holiday season, a time to rest, reflect and draw closer to those around us.

In honor of the first day of Fall, I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite Fall poems, "To Autumn" by Keats. I think he says it much better than I ever can.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

47. To Autumn

1. SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,	5
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,	10
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
2. Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;	15
Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep,
Drows’d with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;	20
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.
3. Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,	25
And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;	30
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.