Confession 280: Because God Doesn't Need You To Do His Job For Him

We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,  so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,  being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience,  and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Colossians 1:9-12

I tend to me rather impulsive.  I like spur of the moment road trips across several states.  If something catches my eye in a store, I like being able to buy it then and there.  I like surprising my kids and my husband with gifts they sometimes don't want and often don't need.  When I get an idea for a ministry project, I tend to just dive right in before swimming through the details.  Impulsivity is something I am comfortable with.

God, however, is not impulsive.  As it took almost 800 years from the promise made to Abraham about inheriting the land of Canaan and the actual inheritance of said land, I would say that God is the direct opposite of impulsive!!  God is a methodical planner.  I see this trait come alive in my loving husband.  Chris never builds/starts/buys anything without thorough research and planning.  If I'm perfectly honest, it drives me absolutely crazy, especially when it involves multiple trips to three different home improvement stores.  By the time I'm ready to scream, "Just pick something already!", we're moving onto store number two.

But, if I'm still being perfectly honest (which I am) it is a quality that I love and cherish about him.  His methodical planning of everything allows me to rest assured in all of the decisions he makes.  I trust him and I value his opinion because I know it's carefully formulated with lots of consumer research.  While I'm diving into the deep water, he's standing above holding a life preserver!

And yet, even though I know that God is not impulsive, even though I know that He has a plan and has painstakingly attended (and is attending to) every detail, I still find myself screaming, "Just do something already!  I'm tired of waiting!!"

Sometimes, I even try and push God to force His hand.  Instead of waiting and trusting in God's omnipotence and sovereignty over my life, I jump in and try to get the ball rolling myself.  I pull the, "Well if you're not going to do anything about it then I guess I'll have to" card.  Needless to say, it never works.  In fact, quite the opposite really.  My refusal to let go of situations and trust in God most often moves me farther back than I was to begin with.  I create situations in which God has to act, but it's not to move my life forward, rather, it's to clean up the new mess I've made.

The truth is, God doesn't need us to do His job for Him.  As the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, He's got it pretty well under control.  Moreover, He has a plan which He has been in the process of implementing since the dawn of time.  And God has graciously and perfectly placed us within that plan.  And while my impulsivity doesn't take me out of God's perfect plan, for nothing in heaven or earth or below can keep us from the great love of God, it can make the road a bit more difficult.

And so, I wait, begrudgingly at times, but with the knowledge that He who knit me together in my mother's womb is putting it all together.

Blessings and Peace,
Sara

Confession 279: Hemmed In

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:5

Recently, my family and I have taken up bike riding.  I've forgotten the sweet freedom that comes from hopping on a bike and cruising down the road.  As a kid, the whole world suddenly opens up to you.  As an adult, I can now turn even a mundane trip to the grocery store into an aerobic workout!!


When we go out biking together, there are some important rules we follow.  First, no one gets onto a bike without a helmet.  Second, no one crosses an intersection until they hear Mommy or Daddy yell, "Clear!"  The problem is, when I'm out riding alone with the boys, I cannot be both before and behind them.  I have to pick one spot.  If I ride before them I can lead the way, call back when cars are approaching from the front, and get to busy intersections first.  However, I can't see cars coming up from behind, I can't monitor where the boys are in the road, and the boys have a harder time hearing me call back to them.

If I ride behind them I can see and hear cars approaching in front and behind, I can monitor their positions on the road and my voice carries a bit better as I call toward them.  However, the boys have a tendency to zoom ahead and reach intersections before I do.  And, if a car approaches too quickly from the front, I'm not there to immediately intercede, nor am I able to give directions to where we're going.

Ideally, I could be in both places at once!!

This dilemma always reminds me of the fact that God is actually able to go both before us and behind us in our daily living, and I am so grateful for that!  I rest assured knowing that if I am behind my boys, God is in front.  And, vice versa.  Moreover, God is both leading us forward in our lives and watching our backs at the same time!!

God goes before us--leading, directing, preparing the path, making sure the intersections are clear before we cross.  And, God goes behind us--encouraging us onward, watching our progress, helping us out of scrapes along the way, not letting us fall behind, and standing between us and our past.

As if that's not incredible enough, God also walks right beside us every moment of every day.  And sometimes, when we need it most, He has the ability to pick us up and carry us.

It's so comforting to know that God constantly surrounds us!!

Lord, you have examined me.

    You know me.

2 

You know when I sit down and when I stand up.

    Even from far away, you comprehend my plans.

3 

You study my traveling and resting.

    You are thoroughly familiar with all my ways.

4 

There isn’t a word on my tongue, Lord,

    that you don’t already know completely.

5 

You surround me—front and back.

    You put your hand on me.

Psalm 139:1-5

Blessings and Peace,

Sara

Confession 278: When You Face an "Epic Fail"

Praise the Lord! He is good.
    God’s love never fails. 

 Praise the God of all gods.
    God’s love never fails. 

 Praise the Lord of lords.
    God’s love never fails.

Psalm 136:1-3

A few weeks ago, I interviewed for a teaching position in a district I have desperately wanted to become a part of.  This was my second interview in three years.  I prepared myself for the interview, going over questions and answers in my mind.  I prayed continuously, asking God to make me appear favorable in the eyes of the hiring committee.  I felt confident, allowing myself a vision of the future with me in that position.  Everything I'd desired for the past three years would finally be coming to fruition!!  I couldn't wait to get started!

 As you've probably noted by my use of the past tense, things didn't exactly go as planned.  Despite my preparedness, despite my prayers, I was less than my best throughout the interview.  Ready answers weren't there.  Important points failed to manifest themselves at the fore front of my mind.  I remember, at one point about halfway through, actually thinking in my head while my mouth was responding to a question, "Wow!  I am totally bombing this!!"  I walked out of the interview room dazed and reeling.  What just happened?  I found myself looking to the heavens asking, "God, where were you?!"  I had just had another "Epic Fail".  

Walking home, I felt ashamed, wary of facing my family eagerly awaiting good news.  I felt sad and depressed, worthless to an extent.  And I was angry.  I had just finished reading a book about prayer in which I encountered story after story of God's amazing acts of power and might in the lives of the faithful who turned to Him.  So, where was that power and might for me?  Why wasn't God acting on MY behalf?  He knew how much this meant.  He knew how much I wanted/longed for this.  So why did He sit back and let me fail?  How did this happen?

My initial response when dealing with an "Epic Fail" is to try and escape the negative feelings zooming around throughout my being.  In the past, I used food to cover up those feelings of failure.  I thought that a big banana split with chocolate, strawberry and butterscotch syrup would fix it all.  However, as I've worked my tail off (literally) to re-develop and maintain healthy habits, drowning my sorrows in sugar was not going to be an option.  My second thought was to go shopping.  However, I know the dangers of replacing one unhealthy habit with another.   As I was praying that night, letting God have it would be a more accurate description, I felt the Spirit move in the quiet of my heart. 

Lying in bed, surrounded by all of those awful feelings, I realized that instead of trying to run from them, replace them with something else, push them over onto something or someone else, I was just going to have to face them and accept them.  I was sad.  I was embarrassed.  I was angry.  And that is okay.  

Moreover, I realized that the "Epic Fail" moments in life are the ones where we truly test and grow our trust in God.  It's in our "Epic Fail" moments that we ask ourselves: "Does God really have a plan?  Can God make something good out of this?  Is God going to see me through this failure?"  Answering those questions requires us to dig down deep into the very marrow of our spiritual bones.  And if we can answer with even the most feeble "yes", then it forces us to relinquish our feelings of bitterness, despair, injustice and self-pity.  We can't hold on and wallow in negativity if we sense a bigger and better picture.  If we answer "yes" to God and His sovereignty, then we have to trust, and trust can often feel like a free-fall from 50,000 feet.

I'm still a little bitter about not getting that job.  However, God has shown me in many small ways that it was for my own benefit.  And although I don't understand the full plan, or know quite where we're going on the grand map of my life, I trust that God has the path laid out and I know that even though there will be other "Epic Fail" moments in my life, God's love for me never fails.

 

Blessings and Peace,

Sara

Confession 277: Purging

My friends, you were chosen to be free. So don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do anything you want. Use it as an opportunity to serve each other with love.

Galatians 5:13

During Teacher Appreciation Week, our school puts banners up throughout the school with enlarged pictures of every staff member on them.  In looking around at all of the banners, I didn't see my picture.  The idea that I wasn't on any of the banners only surprised me in that my principal is very dedicated to making all of the staff feel valued and respected.  When I mentioned to a friend that I wasn't on any of the banners she said to me, "Yes you are.  You're right over here."  Leading me over to where my picture was, my jaw dropped.  I didn't recognize myself at all!!

You see, over the past 8 months, I have been working on getting my body back into optimal health condition.  After maxing out at my heaviest weight ever, I decided that it was time to PURGE my body of all of the unhealthy things I'd been feeding it.  In so doing, I have lost 51 pounds and dropped from a size 16 to a size 10!!  Clothes shopping is actually fun again! :-) 

Yet my picture was taken pre weight loss--hence the non-recognition of myself on my part!! The thought struck me that sometimes, in order to get back to who God intended us to be, we need to go through a period of purging.

There are several definitions of the word purge.  If you're looking for a laugh, check out the definition at the Urban Dictionary!!  For my purpose, the best definition of the word purge is: "to rid, clear or free from"...  It is the complete and total opposite of gorging, which we in America have created a lifestyle out of.  Most of us are pretty good at gorging ourselves, whether it be on food, entertainment, gossip, activities, technology, etc.... 

The problem is that when we continue to put all of this extra stuff in, we lose sight of who God has called us to be.  We become defined by our career, our kids, our activities, our dress sizes, our economic status and fill our days trying to maintain and add to all of these things.  Well, most of us probably aren't intentionally trying to add to our dress sizes!  But the point is, the more we fill our lives with the excesses of our culture, the less room we have for God to live and dwell within us.

Hence, the need to purge, to rid, clear and free ourselves from those things in our lives that pull us away from being the person God created us to be and to refocus our time and energy on those tasks God has called us to do.  Sometimes, we need to downsize.  We need to take a moment to reflect and take stock of our surroundings.  We need to look at where our time, our talents, our resources, and our focus is going and determine whether or not the paths we are pursuing are the ones God has asked us to follow.

In my life, my weight loss has been the impetus for a season of purging in my life.  I've felt as if I've woken up to my life again.  I'm reclaiming the dreams and goals that God has planted in my heart.  And in order to follow them, I need to give some other things up.  I need to make time and space in my life to do what God has called me to do.

When we take the time to purge/clear/free ourselves from the things that hold us back from God, we give God room to create.  As the apostle Paul writes....

 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

Blessings and Peace,

Sara

Confession 276: Active Listening

Obey God’s message! Don’t fool yourselves by just listening to it. If you hear the message and don’t obey it, you are like people who stare at themselves in a mirror and forget what they look like as soon as they leave.  But you must never stop looking at the perfect law that sets you free. God will bless you in everything you do, if you listen and obey, and don’t just hear and forget.  James 1:22-25

Have you ever heard of the term active listening?  I remember talking about this quite a bit in my undergrad Interpersonal Communications course.  Active listening goes beyond simply hearing what someone has to say to being actively engaged with the speaker throughout the conversation.  It’s looking at someone while they’re speaking, making eye contact, nodding your head, giving verbal reinforcement and encouragement.  Active listening tells the speaker:

1) I am important to you

2) My feelings are valued

3) I am respected

4) I am understood

When we actively listen to someone, our actions demonstrate that we have received the message loud and clear.  Our response to what the speaker has said should reassure the speaker that she has been heard.

As the mother of two young boys, I truly appreciate the concept of active listening.  I’ve found that my boys can hear quite a lot.  For instance, they hear, “Go wash your hands and come to the table for dinner.”  But their continued playing or watching television five minutes after the fact tells me that they weren’t really listening.

Similarly, we can hear God calling us to something, but our response to that call will prove whether or not we were actively listening. 

Take this story of King Saul for example:

In 1 Samuel 15, God sends Saul off on a conquering mission with specific instructions NOT to take any plunder from the attack.  Saul hears the Lord’s command, but does exactly the opposite.  Saul takes the plunder from the attack in order to “make a generous sacrifice to the Lord”, despite direct instruction that nothing should be saved.  Samuel, God’s prophet,  comes to Saul and asks him, “Why didn’t you listen to the Lord?”

Saul replies, “But, I did listen.”

Samuel then points out the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  Saul tries to justify his actions, telling Samuel that the plunder was to be a thank offering to the Lord.  Samuel’s response:

“Tell me,” Samuel said. “Does the Lord really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.”

 1^st Samuel 15:22

When God calls us, He wants us to be active listeners.  He wants to see that He is important to us, that He is valued and respected above all things, and—He wants to know by our obedient response that we understand Him.

God wants active listeners.  Are you listening today?

Blessings and Peace,

Sara

Confession 275: Challenging the Call

When God calls us to a task, it is rarely ever an easy thing to do.  Oftentimes, the work seems impossible.  Always, the task at hand is one that takes time, trust, and infinite patience.  We don’t fee qualified, prepared, worthy, or even desirous of the opportunity God is presenting.  In reality, we’re probably not actually qualified, prepared or worthy of the opportunity. 

Listen to some of the responses of people in Scripture who have been called by God:

Moses: “I have never been a good speaker.  I wasn’t one before you spoke to me, and I’m not one now.  I am slow at speaking, and I can never think of what to say.”  Exodus 4:10

Esther: “…there is a law about going in to see the king, and all his officials and his people know about this law.  Anyone who goes into see the king without being invited by him will be put to death.”  Esther 4:11

Gideon: “Please don’t take this wrong, but if the Lord is helping us, then why have all these awful things happened?”  Judges 6:13

 Jeremiah: “I’m not a good speaker Lord, and I’m too young.”  Jeremiah 1:6

Zechariah: “My wife and I are very old.”  Luke 1:18

Mary: “Mary asked the angel, ‘How can this happen?  I am not married!’” Luke 1:36

Ananias: “Lord, a lot of people have told me about the terrible things this man has done…” Acts 9:13

Do any of these objections to a call sound familiar to you?  I’m too old.  I’m too young.  I’ve never done this before.  I’m not in the right season of my life.  I don’t have enough experience in this field.  It’s too dangerous.  I don’t trust you.  You’re asking too much.

If we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ve used a couple of these objections with God once or twice before.  I, personally, have used the “this isn’t a good season in my life” objection way too frequently.  I mean, how much can God expect me to do with two small children in tow?  A lot!

You see, God knows what our objections are going to be before we ever voice them.  And God not only hears our objections, He prepares and blows them out of the water.   

Listen to God’s reply to His faithful servants:

To Moses: “Who makes people able to speak or makes them deaf or unable to speak? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Don’t you know that I am the one who does these things?  Now go! When you speak, I will be with you and give you the words to say.”  Oh, and take your brother-in-law Aaron.  He’s a great public speaker!  Exodus 4:11-12

To Esther via Mordecai: “Don’t think that you will escape being killed with the rest of the Jews, just because you live in the king’s palace.  If you don’t speak up now, we will somehow get help, but you and your family will be killed. It could be that you were made queen for a time like this!”        Esther 4:13-14

To Gideon: “Gideon, you will be strong, because I am giving you the power to rescue Israel from the Midianites.” Judges 6:14

To Jeremiah: “Don’t say you’re too young.  If I tell you to go and speak to someone, then go! And when I tell you what to say, don’t leave out a word! I promise to be with you and keep you safe, so don’t be afraid.”  Jeremiah 1:7-8

To Zechariah via Gabriel: “You have not believed what I have said. So you will not be able to say a thing until all this happens. But everything will take place when it is supposed to.” Luke 1:20

To Mary via Gabriel: “The Holy Spirit will come down to you, and God’s power will come over you…  Nothing is impossible for God!” Luke 1:35-37

To Ananias: “Go! I have chosen him to tell foreigners, kings, and the people of Israel about me.” Acts 9:15

You see, God doesn’t care if we’re old, or young, or single or married, or experienced, or well-trained, or prepared or have young children.  Each and every time we raise an objection God says, “GO!!  I AM is going to take care of everything you need!!” 

God doesn’t need us to be anything but obedient because He Is everything else.  When God calls us to a task He makes a sacred promise to be with us throughout the entire completion of the project.  God knows we can’t do it on our own—that’s actually part of the point.  We can’t.  God can.  We go.  God does.  And then, God is glorified and magnified and we have experienced the love of God in deep and profound new ways.

The apostle Paul writes that Christ’s power is made stronger when we are weak.  Because when we face a task that we know we are not qualified, trained, or are scared to do then we have to turn ourselves completely over to God.  And that is what God desires most of all—His children depending and relying on Him.   And when we give ourselves fully and completely over to God, amazing things can happen.

Blessings and Peace,

Sara

Confession 274: A Monday Meditation

I've been reading through the book of Psalms from the book, Psalms/Now by Leslie F. Brandt.  Today's psalm, Psalm 37, seemed a good reminder after the national chaos of the past week.

Psalm 37

It's high time we stop complaining

about the dissipation of our world

or the corruption of our society.

At the same time we eye with envy

those ungodly characters

who appear to have more fun

or to be more successful than we are.

If we really trusted in God

and were truly committed to His purposes,

the world might be a great deal better off today.

GOD IS IN OUR WORLD!!

He is destined to the the source

of our joy and well-being.

He is the fulfillment of our hearts' desires.

If we dedicate our lives to Him and His will, 

He will be able to work through us,

to permeate this world's darkness with divine light.

Let's keep our cool and try to be patient.

STOP WORRYING

about the apparent hopelessness of it all.

We only contribute to this despair

by always being negative and defeatist.

GOD HAS NOT TAKEN A VACATION; HE IS HERE!!

He has His own way of dealing

with the instigators of corruption.

It will take TIME,

but the victory is ultimately God's!

Those who live within God's will

shall surely discover

that His purposes prevail,

that true joy and peace and security

come from Him.

Let us wait on God and seek daily to obey Him.

He is our salvation and our security,

and NOTHING in this world

can take that away from us.

Let us calm our hostilities,

overcome our anxieties,

and walk in peace and love.

Blessings and Peace,

Sara