Saturday, February 19, 2011

Confession 166: When God Drills A Message Home

The Lord is my Shepherd.  I shall not WANT.

Our Women's Bible Study has been working through Cynthia Heald's Becoming a Woman of Excellence.  Our topic this week is surrender and obedience.  I think the lesson of surrender and obedience is going to be the defining theme of my life.  It seems to be the message God continually wants to drill home to me.  I've realized that the heart of surrender is trust, and the heart of obedience is love.  I will surrender when I truly trust God, I will trust God when I realize the fullness of his love for me, and the fullness of his love for me will move me from selfish ambition to a life of love which is a life of obedience.  Sounds great, right?  Then why, with every new challenge, do I have to fight the fight of surrender all over again?  Why, when I get a letter stating that Garrett's insurance has been revoked yet again do I feel so helpless?  And why does the thought of beginning the job search all over again as teacher contracts begin to come up fill me with such heaviness and dread?

The answer lies in the desires of my heart and the fear that the desires of my heart are not the desires of God's heart.  Yet the thing that God is going to keep drilling and drilling into my stubborn heart is the reality that HIS plan for my life goes "exceedingly, abundantly beyond" (Ephesians 3:20) anything that I could ever plan!!

In the past several months, God has led my family and I to rest beside still waters.  He has restored our souls.  So many times lately I have had cause to pause and say, "My cup runneth over."  God has met all of our needs.  Oh, that my heart could be steadfast! (Psalm 119:5)  That I could fear no evil!  That I could say with David, "surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life" instead of crying out, "SERIOUSLY?!" with every new challenge.  It's so hard to surrender!!

But this truth I remember: He who has begun a good work in me will see it through to the completion.  (Philippians 1:6).  It is my job to press on toward the goal which Christ has set for me.  I will continue to learn the lessons of surrender and obedience so that I can say, as Paul so boldly stated, that I can be content in all things (Philippians 4) knowing that all things work for the good of those who love God. (Romans 8:28)  And I will give thanks that our Christian walks are truly an ongoing process.  There is nothing to "get right", only room to grow.  And boy, do I have some growing to do!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara 

2 comments:

  1. You aren't the only one who has some growing to do. Thank you for this post! Thanks for stopping by! Praying God will bless your the retreat!

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  2. I think we all have some growing to do :) It is hard to "rest in the Lord, and to wait patiently for Him" - boy, do I know that!! I struggle constantly with what I want for us, instead of focusing on what God wants for us - which (at times) are not the same thing!

    Blessings to you this day :)

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