Confession 141: I Lift Up My Eyes

I just got off the phone with the health insurance company and am feeling annoyed and discouraged.  It seems that I am one of those dwindling lower middle class citizens who cannot really afford health insurance, but cannot really afford to not have it either.  Since I take 100mg of Zoloft each day, I fall into the "pre-existing condition clause" which basically means that I get to pay an extra $80+ bucks a month for a pill it probably cost about $.50 to make.  I called the insurance company today to try and change my plan, only to be left 45 minutes later with the same plan and an application for a new plan that I'm not eligible for until January 1st that might lower my premium $50 per month.  It seems that no matter how many health care reforms the government legislates, insurance companies keep finding ways around them.  I'm not going to go off an a tirade against health insurance companies, I'm just saying that to insure my boys and I it costs over $400 per month because I take one pill and my oldest son has Uvitis and sees an eye specialist on a regular basis.  The laughable part of all of this is that I signed us all up for individual health insurance policies because it seemed, in my research, that was going to be cheaper than putting us all on one!  Of course, with my son's pre-existing condition we have to go through a state sponsored health insurance pool because the insurance companies won't take him on, although the pool is run by a major insurance company.  Someone please explain that to me!!  Oh well, enough of the tirade.

The reality is that each of us has moments in life where we want to throw our hands up and say, "I give!"  It could be financial struggles, or chronic health struggles, or relationship struggles.  And, they come about not because we've done anything "wrong" or made poor choices or angered God in some way, but because we are human beings living in a human world.  Fortunately, as Christians, we know that this is not the end of the story.  We were not made to struggle through life giving in and giving up.  On the contrary, God has placed a spirit of hope within each of us to persevere through our struggles, to be steadfast with our eyes fixed on Christ allowing God to work within and throughout our hardships in order that he may be glorified when we triumph.

As Paul writes in Romans 8, we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us, so much so that there is nothing in this world or beyond that can separate us from his abundant love; no insurance companies that can strip us of our faith and trust in him.  So when I feel that the world is getting the upper hand, I do as the Psalmist commands in Psalm 121: I lift up my eyes to the hills and see that my help comes from the Lord, the creator of heaven and Earth.  The God who set the mountains in place and told the rivers where to run is the God who is carrying me.  He will not let my foot slip.  Indeed, he who watches over his children will neither slumber nor sleep.

Thank God for the Word!  My day is suddenly looking up!!

Blessings and Peace,
Sara