Confession 60: What's the Point?

This is a question I ask my students all the time. What's the point of this text? What's the point of your essay? What's the point of your statement? What's the point of your question? What's the point of you taking this class? I get so caught up in asking others what the point is for them, that I forget to ask the most essential point question of myself: What's the point of me?

I've just started a new Beth Moore bible study over the book of Esther that I think will shed some light on that. We've only had one session thus far, but by the time Beth was finished speaking, the margins of my notebook were cram packed. It was as if God was just flooding me with thoughts and ideas. I've always loved the book of Esther. What girl wouldn't? It's the ultimate princess story, a fairy tale carved into the pages of scripture. What impressed me most during this first session was the focus on purpose, our individual destinies. God has shaped each one of us for a purpose, given us unique gifts, experiences, and perspectives to help achieve that purpose. If we're focused, listening, watching and waiting with, as Beth states, "anxious anticipation", God will do amazing things through us. Yet, as I reflect on my own personal experiences as a Christian, I worry that my faith walk is a series of missed opportunities. I know I have gifts and talents I am not using for the betterment of God's kingdom. I have not reached out to others to show them the love of Christ. I have missed opportunities to share my own faith and I can't remember the last time I genuinely invited someone to share in the experience of God through worship.

It's not comfortable, stepping out on faith and in faith to introduce others to God. I feel unworthy, ill-equipped, anxious. I find myself telling God, "You better find someone else." And he will, which means that I will miss out on deepening my relationship with him. I can miss out on my destiny, my purpose, and that thought freaks me out.

The book of Esther shows us how to push through our doubts, our fears, our insecurities and low self-esteem to see how God wants and will do wondrous things through the most common and messed-up creatures on earth--us! So, I'm prepared to be shaken, not stirred. I want to see God act in my life and the lives of others. I'm ready to stand up and say, "Hey, that's my God working through this situation and that's the point!"

Blessings and Peace,
Sara